06 December, 2007
Preparing to go!..or not...
Getting ready to visit my home...not feeling up to it...isnt it strange?...tho its trrible lonely here sometimes...but ..all the diplomacies and artificialness of staying with my in-laws really perturbes me....wonder how it'll be...
going after one year...really miss my parents sometimes...choke-up missing kinds..but...hmmm....
its not like my in-laws are horrible people..they're nice actually..(inspite of the sometimes typical MIL-kind behaviour of my MIL)...thing is i dont like what i become over there...the artificialness is what gets to me...the inability to do what i want to do when i want to do...trying to keep everyone happy..and everybdy just seems to want a piece of u....so emotionally draining...husband says its the one time in a whol year...the one time..and these holidays are for them..parents above everything else ..etc etc.but then when is my time out...why the f do i have to adjust and not him...he says thats how its bin fr 300 years....unfortunately women have had to sacrifice more...we have to go to his house first and then to mine..he doesnt want to stay at my parents house(says it'll be very strange fr him)...but i will definitely have to stay in his...wht the hell is society like this...havnt things changed one bit...isnt this the age of the "modern"goddamn woman!!!!!!!
not like he's forcing me ..in fact he said...whatver u think is gud fr u do that!...but easier said than done isnt it...unfortunately my parents didnt teach me to put self first...wish they had...keep thinkin what will his mother think..wot will his father say!...gawd!...guess will have to go to his parents house and then fr some time to mine...wish life wasnt full of compromises!..mine just seems to have too many of them!
going after one year...really miss my parents sometimes...choke-up missing kinds..but...hmmm....
its not like my in-laws are horrible people..they're nice actually..(inspite of the sometimes typical MIL-kind behaviour of my MIL)...thing is i dont like what i become over there...the artificialness is what gets to me...the inability to do what i want to do when i want to do...trying to keep everyone happy..and everybdy just seems to want a piece of u....so emotionally draining...husband says its the one time in a whol year...the one time..and these holidays are for them..parents above everything else ..etc etc.but then when is my time out...why the f do i have to adjust and not him...he says thats how its bin fr 300 years....unfortunately women have had to sacrifice more...we have to go to his house first and then to mine..he doesnt want to stay at my parents house(says it'll be very strange fr him)...but i will definitely have to stay in his...wht the hell is society like this...havnt things changed one bit...isnt this the age of the "modern"goddamn woman!!!!!!!
not like he's forcing me ..in fact he said...whatver u think is gud fr u do that!...but easier said than done isnt it...unfortunately my parents didnt teach me to put self first...wish they had...keep thinkin what will his mother think..wot will his father say!...gawd!...guess will have to go to his parents house and then fr some time to mine...wish life wasnt full of compromises!..mine just seems to have too many of them!
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